I am 'pendatang' first
I confess.
Put away the electrodes and the peacock feathers. I am allergic to torture. I will readily confess.
Yes, I am pendatang (a Comer) first.
I am pendatang first, homo sapiens second, agnostic third, Chinese fourth, Teochew fifth, spoiler of women sixth, and so on. Don't worry, being Malaysian is definitely somewhere down the list.
Being pendatang first does not mean I am less of a Malaysian.
How can I say I'm Malaysian first and pendatang second? If I do that, all the pendatang will shun me and say it's not proper. Yes, I know they will. How do I know that? Oh, I rely on very high authority. I learn it from the wisdom of our DPM, who is reported to have said (and his sombre voice still rings in my ears): “How can I say I'm Malaysian first and Malay second? All the Malays will shun me and say it's not proper” (as quoted in The Sun, April 1, 2010; no April Fool's joke).
And if all the Comers shun me, God forbid, I will become the only Comer who will have to go.
Nor can you expect me to say that I'm Malaysian second, and homo sapien third. Why? Come on, if I do that, all the homo sapiens will shun me and say it's not proper. And if all the homo sapiens shun me, my social status will drop a few notches, from a proud pendatang to a bespectacled binatang (animal). I wouldn't want that, because it could affect my credit limit with American Express.
And how can I say that I am a Malaysian third, and a ... ... ... You wouldn't want me to carry on like this, I'm sure. And let's not go anywhere near the part where all women might shun me.
Have not these issues of needlessly competing priorities been put to rest by that new and exciting concept called 1Malaysia? Again I confess; I do not understand the concept, the ga-ga-san (pronounced either with finesse or not at all).
At first I thought it was a pretty good idea. I figured it meant that we ought to embrace the only 1 race that mattered - the human race.
But, alas, that was before I witnessed the number of 'we must change' leaders leaping to the defence of that not-so-extreme group called Perkasa, whose motto is apparently not mi casa es su casa; but whose zealousness curiously does not appear to have energised them enough to go to Hulu Selangor to champion their 'go away, all ye ungrateful comers' cause. What a letdown.
It was also before I watched the impending spectacular comeback to BN politics of that 'I'm-Malay-first, once-suspended, quickly-restored' Penang politician who gave obscure, ungrateful taxpaying Malaysians like me the beautiful name of pendatang, and catapulted us into national limelight. Who says ordinary folks like me have no chance for a place in history?
So now I am confused as to what a complex, homegrown concept such as 1Malaysia might mean. Could it be the Freudian result of a subconscious desire for Malaysia to be forever ruled by 1 party?
Or could it signify the commitment to the principle that Petronas, that reservoir of resources that belongs to all Malaysians (including, by the grace of extraordinary generosity, pendatangs), shall always be answerable to 1 and only 1 person for all eternity? Or perhaps that 1 race should always be Number 1 in Malaysia, until the mountains shall turn to salt?
Conscious choice made
Whatever it is and whatever you do, if you speak the word 1Malaysia in public, do it as gently as a nightingale would a new tune and never attempt to illustrate the concept with a hand gesture; for there is nothing more unfortunate than a wrong finger in a wrong direction at the wrong place.
Now, now, for those of you quick to jump to conclusions (especially journalists in the habit of misquoting politicians when what was said has already been captured on tape), twist not my pure intention. No need to be cynical. Mine is a genuine call for help here. I need assistance, to understand the true concept of 1Malaysia.
For, judging by what goes on around me, it seems obvious to me that if someone is Malay first, another pendatang first, a third Kadazan first, a fourth neurosurgeon first, and so on, being Malaysian can never come first; and 1Malaysia will never occupy the Number 1 spot. Why would first-class Malaysia want a second-class gagasan? Eh, am I missing something?
There are those who insist that I am not a pendatang, which is a story for another day. But I don't mind the label at all. I am proud to be a pendatang. A pendatang knows where he came from, how he came, why he stays behind, and where he will go.
A pendatang realises, eventually, the right way to vote (oh, now I have your attention). A pendatang understands her roots (important), the human genome (humbling), transcontinental migration (enlightening), and many more things.
That seems pretty all right to me, compared with the people who do not know whether they are coming or going, or those who think that 21st century human relations are pinned to geographical boundaries the same way it had been in 2000 BC; even though Astro has already made it so easy for anybody to get basic education on human and genetic history via the Discovery Channel.
I am convinced that pendatangs should be given 'special rights' that must not be questioned by others, ever. Why? Because people who claim they did not come from anywhere must have been placed here without choice. They are here because they can't help it.
Pendatangs, however, are people who chose to come and who choose to remain. Surely they possess and exhibit a higher level of commitment and patriotism to this land. Surely they deserve special rights. Case closed.
Now comes my final confession of the day. Yes, you are right, I am a racist. I give greater importance to that race called the human race, than to any other species and living things on Earth.
That, well and truly, does not make me less of a Malaysian; though it might get me into a tiny bit of trouble with animal and nature lovers.
And on second thought, keep the electrodes, but give me the feathers. I could put them to amazing use.
It was also before I watched the impending spectacular comeback to BN politics of that 'I'm-Malay-first, once-suspended, quickly-restored' Penang politician who gave obscure, ungrateful taxpaying Malaysians like me the beautiful name of pendatang, and catapulted us into national limelight. Who says ordinary folks like me have no chance for a place in history?
So now I am confused as to what a complex, homegrown concept such as 1Malaysia might mean. Could it be the Freudian result of a subconscious desire for Malaysia to be forever ruled by 1 party?
Or could it signify the commitment to the principle that Petronas, that reservoir of resources that belongs to all Malaysians (including, by the grace of extraordinary generosity, pendatangs), shall always be answerable to 1 and only 1 person for all eternity? Or perhaps that 1 race should always be Number 1 in Malaysia, until the mountains shall turn to salt?
Conscious choice made
Whatever it is and whatever you do, if you speak the word 1Malaysia in public, do it as gently as a nightingale would a new tune and never attempt to illustrate the concept with a hand gesture; for there is nothing more unfortunate than a wrong finger in a wrong direction at the wrong place.
Now, now, for those of you quick to jump to conclusions (especially journalists in the habit of misquoting politicians when what was said has already been captured on tape), twist not my pure intention. No need to be cynical. Mine is a genuine call for help here. I need assistance, to understand the true concept of 1Malaysia.
For, judging by what goes on around me, it seems obvious to me that if someone is Malay first, another pendatang first, a third Kadazan first, a fourth neurosurgeon first, and so on, being Malaysian can never come first; and 1Malaysia will never occupy the Number 1 spot. Why would first-class Malaysia want a second-class gagasan? Eh, am I missing something?
There are those who insist that I am not a pendatang, which is a story for another day. But I don't mind the label at all. I am proud to be a pendatang. A pendatang knows where he came from, how he came, why he stays behind, and where he will go.
A pendatang realises, eventually, the right way to vote (oh, now I have your attention). A pendatang understands her roots (important), the human genome (humbling), transcontinental migration (enlightening), and many more things.
That seems pretty all right to me, compared with the people who do not know whether they are coming or going, or those who think that 21st century human relations are pinned to geographical boundaries the same way it had been in 2000 BC; even though Astro has already made it so easy for anybody to get basic education on human and genetic history via the Discovery Channel.
I am convinced that pendatangs should be given 'special rights' that must not be questioned by others, ever. Why? Because people who claim they did not come from anywhere must have been placed here without choice. They are here because they can't help it.
Pendatangs, however, are people who chose to come and who choose to remain. Surely they possess and exhibit a higher level of commitment and patriotism to this land. Surely they deserve special rights. Case closed.
Now comes my final confession of the day. Yes, you are right, I am a racist. I give greater importance to that race called the human race, than to any other species and living things on Earth.
That, well and truly, does not make me less of a Malaysian; though it might get me into a tiny bit of trouble with animal and nature lovers.
And on second thought, keep the electrodes, but give me the feathers. I could put them to amazing use.
YEO YANG POH, a senior lawyer, is a former chairperson of the Bar Council.
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