Raising a family of true Malaysians
In many senses, it seems funny that Malaysians, particularly the Malays,
find great difficulty in the idea of a united, harmonious and happy
Malaysia. I am a Malay. All my Malay friends at UTM and other
universities and all my relatives and that of my wife are… racist. If I
were to invite all of them to a marriage ceremony, the number would
easily reach 3,000. Based on a simple sampling of 5% of this population
that I engage in socialising, I have established that they know nothing
about the idea of “Malaysia”. All they know is the condition of “we just
have to tolerate those immigrants and make sure they don’t make us like
Singapore” mind set.
I have always thought that some of my friends and
relatives whom I respect as very pious Muslims would be different, but
they too turn out to be racist when political issues are discussed. It
came as a shock to me. I thought that Islam would be one of the answers
to eliminate racism, but apparently, the “Malay-view” interpretation of
Islam always take precedence. Islam is NOT the problem but its racist
interpretation is. I know this for a fact because of my vast reading of
Islam, thousands of hadiths and many versions of Qur’anic Tafsir.
In this Merdeka
celebration, the “idea” of Malaysia seems only in a dream or in a
Petronas or a DiGi commercial. The idea of Malaysia does not exist in
our schools, in our public universities, at our housing and our cities.
But I still remain optimistic. Why? Because my family is NOT racist. My
wife who is a retired teacher is not racist. My 28-year-old lecturer
daughter educated at IIUM is not racist. My 26-year-old journalist
daughter educated at TAR College and Taylors University is not racist.
My 23-year-old son in his third year at UCSI University is not racist.
My 20-year-old SEGi University daughter is not racist. And my
18-year-old Inti University son is also not racist. How did I manage to
form my own small country of “Malaysia”? There are a few simple
strategies that I had developed. I will save the most important one for
last.
One of the
simple strategies I used was the choice of schools for my children. All
of my children had gone through SOME years at a public school. When we
could afford it, I sent my eldest daughter and second child for two
years to an all-Malay private religious school so that they could
immerse themselves in some Islamic culture. However, I was most careful
to take them out after two years and put them back in the public school
because I did not want them to grow up without having any Chinese or
Indian friends.
All my daughters’ friends who had gone through 11 years
of “Islamic” education are racists. When my daughters were put in a
“special Arabic” class in a public school which was a poor excuse to put
all the best Malay students in one or two classes and given the best
attention, I wrote to the school, much to the dismay of my wife, to take
them out and put them back into a multi-racial class. I did not want my
children to grow up knowing Islam as being synonymous with racism and
bigotry.
For my three
other children, I was able to send all of them for two or three years at
private international schools, but following the national curriculum.
If I had more money, I would have insisted on an international
curriculum. But sending them to private schools was already a strain on
our two salaries. We were both extremely happy to see the three of them
playing, gossiping, going to McDonald’s and movies with Chinese and
Indian friends without any shred of racist thoughts.
My two sons are not
as intellectually-developed as my three daughters and the private
schools did not have the best teaching staff. I even had to take my sons
out for 2 months to coach them personally before their SPM. But we were
both happy that our children were free from the racist and bullying
issues of public school life. My children would sometimes spend the
night at their non-Muslim friends’ and we always welcome their friends
at ours. I made sure that our children grew up in a well-balanced
society and not stuck in a Malay or Malay-Muslim centred social prison.
When the time
came for my eldest to choose a college or university, I had already
decided as a grand strategy for creating a new Malaysian citizenry that
none of them would ever step foot in a public university like UTM, UKM,
UM UPM, USM and worst of all… UiTM. Let me explain why. Firstly, I would
like to go on record as saying that our public universities have the
best trained academic staff to turn our children into architects,
engineers and doctors, regardless of race. That Chinese students
dominate the honour lists is testament to the non-racist policies of
public universities in terms of academic teaching and instruction.
But
the racist attitudes of the Malay lecturers, professors and
administrators are a different story altogether. I have 28 years of
seminars, administrative meetings and socialising with academics and
administrators as well as private conversations with graduating
non-Malay students to testify to this fact. The university culture of
students choosing group work members of the same ethnic background still
persists and this was one of the things that I had wished to avoid.
However, at the
public universities, I was not as concerned about racism as I was about
the freedom of my children to be exposed to political consciousness.
What I mean by political consciousness is not about joining DAP or PAS
or Umno, but a keen awareness of the social and political issues of the
day and the freedom to contribute towards solving these issues through
organising clubs, societies, meets and even dialogues with political
leaders of all parties. At the time my daughter was 18, I had already
had 20 years of experience in the university and I knew for a fact that
my children would never have the opportunities to grow politically like I
had at the University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee, USA.
In my assessment,
our public university students from undergraduates to PhD graduates are
politically “dumb”. Not because they are stupid or slow thinking, but
because of the academic culture that thrives on praising the “political
masters”. I, in my classrooms always remind the students that Umno and
BN are NOT the “political masters” of this country and that PAS or DAP
are NOT “political masters” in their respective states. They are all our
“political representatives”. The real political masters are you
graduates in the classrooms that are over 21 years of age. I always tell
the students to “take back” their country from those who seek to milk
its wealth selfishly. In private conversations, it seems mine is the
only class that seeks to inspire the students to be true democratic
Malaysians at our faculty in UTM. You do not ever get that kind of talk
from the vice chancellor, dean or head of department.
It was then to
my wife’s dismay and surprise that I suggested my eldest daughter go to
TAR College. My plan was to send my children to private universities and
colleges away from public universities. But my eldest wanted to go to
the International Islamic University. Why? Well… her boyfriend was
there. If it were before 1997, I would have said okay, but the
Anwar-saga left me dangling in the shredded faith of a true Malaysia by a
political party that I had voted for twice before that and from a prime
minister that I had once had the privilege of meeting with other
student leaders in his hotel room in Chicago. But I reasoned that IIUM
still had a strong Islamic spirit from its international staff that
would be void of a racist flavour. And so I said yes, and so she went
through an education that still had a pure spirit of non-racist Islam
for 5 years. However, her political consciousness suffered because IIUM
was becoming a political prison. Fortunately, I was able to light this
fire of consciousness through my many discussions with her about the
social and political events after 1997.
My second child
had no problems accepting my idea of TAR College. Although she had
enough subject distinctions to attend public universities, she did not
like the Malay dress code imposed there and I supported her simply
because of my political strategy. Between the two of us, we outvoted my
wife. After her diploma, she spent a year at SEGi University but changed
to Taylors University with a MARA partial loan. In all this time, I
monitored closely all her assignments and smiled inwardly as they took
on a more critical discourse of local social and political events that
would have been a taboo subject matter at any local university.
I noted
also that Taylors University had invited Nurul Izzah Anwar for a talk a
month after inviting Mahathir for a special speech. In a public
university, the likes of Lim Kit Siang, Anwar Ibrahim and Mohamad Sabu
would never grace the podium of a lecture hall but at Taylors perhaps
they still could. If I were a rich man, I would spend every cent on
educating my children overseas so that they could bloom into a whole
human being conscious of social, spiritual and political issues and with
the inspiration to change the world. You can’t do that at local
universities, and I suspect eventually at the private universities also.
It was thus that
my wife finally accepted my grand strategy of developing our children
at the private universities. As a Muslim mother, my wife was very
concerned that our children would grow up “wrong” Islamically because
her definition of Islam was restricted to tudungs or head covers and
prayers. However, after listening to religious scholars and leaders
spouting racist statements and tudung-ed individuals with vileness in
their hearts against other religions and races, she began to accept that
though our children were not too ritualistically Islamic with the
tudung and prayers, they were good-hearted individuals without a shred
of racism in their hearts.
This proved beyond a doubt that the religious
curriculum of our country, not through the fault of Islam per se, is
the most important contributor to the sustaining of racism in this
country. Thus, if our children had had a “proper” religious education,
they would eventually turn up racist also. I had the fortune of being
transferred to a national-type Chinese school in Taiping where I chose
to stop learning Islam from Form 2 onwards even though the Chinese head
teacher wanted to hire a single ustaz to teach me alone. I was,
therefore never indoctrinated, and being in USA for graduate and
post-graduate schools, I was further away from a Malay-centric Islamic
university education.
Amidst all these
strategies of choosing schools and universities, I would constantly
engage my children in private conversations on the simple values of
human survival and what they mean for being a Malaysian. Firstly, the
Prophet Muhmmad taught a non-racist Islam and that all other religions
like Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism are God’s guidance to mankind to
rise above petty ethno-centric concerns to rise higher than the angels
in human kindness that is a key to a peaceful existence.
When you stand
in front of God on judgement day, you stand alone with your deeds and
values, not your race or social status. Secondly, motivation gurus and
western spiritualists teach us that our differences in race and
religions are our strengths and not a cause for conflict. No man can
live alone and so likewise no race or society can exist. A simple
example would be a husband and wife. Two completely different
individuals with completely two different physiological and
psychological make-up have to live together to raise five to ten other
individuals with different ideas and emotions.
If we can accept our
spouse and children’s different views and concerns, why can’t we accept
other races and religious concerns? Thirdly, although man can determine
many things in life, there are four things that he cannot: his time of
death, a natural disaster and his fate in heaven or hell. Do not judge
poorly or look down on others, for it may be the grace of God that they
may be favoured more. Finally, in a democracy, you control the destiny
of your children and never let any politician tell you otherwise.
In closing, I
have written this anecdotal piece to politely tell Malaysians that we
have serious problems in our school values and in the way our
universities produce the next generation of professional Malaysians. If
things do not change politically, I told my children that I will leave
them with one house each, one car each and a RM20,000 start-up capital
so that they can start saving to be able to educate their children in
private schools with international curriculum and finally send all of
them off overseas.
This is the only way that they will be free from a
Malay-centric Islam and a university system that thrives on producing a
professional slave labour force dancing to every racist beat
choreographed by irresponsible political leaders that have defiled our
Parliament.
Only then can
our sons and daughters return to rebuild and reignite the dreams of
Datuk Seri Onn bin Jaafar and our politician forefathers of a united,
harmonious and intelligent society deep in spiritual consciousness.
Happy Merdeka! – August 27, 2014.